Our Prisoner

Kieran's Mom Phyllis

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Kieran's Mom Phyllis says...
Kieran came into this world prematurely an not a day goes by that he still doesn't surprise me. When I was asked to write a blurb about Kieran I was at a loss; all the witty lines had already been employed by other people. So, in plain English, I'll say that Kieran is the most creative person I know.

When he was still so still was so small that I had to carry him from place to place, he could hum any tune he ha just hear. This was before he ha even started to speak! While still a small child, he developed the ability to play back, like a recording, conversations, complete with accurate mimicry and sounds effects. This unerring ability he has to this day.

Kieran started to write a Crocky cartoon strip when he was very young, about seven or eight. He had a toy alligator that he fantasized about, and this was the matrix for his comic strip. Although only a young child, his humor was amazingly mature. The words and actions of his extremely engaging animal characters reflected absurdity of the human condition and yet the indomitable spirit of people. Kieran has always loved animals, respecting them as individuals and seeing to their care. As a result, his family hosts five cats, many reptiles, and once there were two ferrets.

Kieran is a study in contradiction. He writes wonderful stories and his illustrations are clever and endearing. The characters he has created are magical and original in their appeal, like the "Spooks," the "Whocarions," and the "Space Maidens" as well as the bumbling space traveler, "Zab Folbolb." Yet, he has never submitted these stories for publication. Kieran is a very assertive individual, yet after his comic strip, Crocky, was rejected by a syndicate, he cease trying to place Crocky with others. He has also written stories for young children, among them "Jason Fights the Nasties," and "The Runaway Turtle."

Generous to a fault, Kieran would likely give the shirt off his back to help someone in nee who he thought deserving. As a result, we have given shelter to several young people until they were able to get back on their feet. Yes, he is a study in contradiction since he insists that he doesn't like people.

I could write another 500 pages about Kieran and still not adequately describe him, but you can't fit the universe into a teacup. For now, I think this is enough.

Kieran says...
So motherly she makes you want to jump out a window. She can mother anyone into a state of pure misery. Well intentioned but batty. Likes to hum to herself in monotone and paint. Intent on feeding chicken to everyone and anyone who gets near her.

Kieran's Sister Darcy

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Kieran's Sister Darcy says...
What can I say? Kieran is my little brother. My memories of him are jumping on my bed and tagging along with me to the movies or to a friends house. He also used to think it was fun to get me in trouble. He'd tell my mom that I hit him. My mom invariably took his side. After all why would he lie?

I've painted a picture of Kieran as a brat and that is somewhat unfair. He actually is a good brother and we talk often about our lives. When we were kids, he and I lived on the first floor of the house and our parents on the second floor. I'd often have nightmares. Despite being five years younger than I, Kieran would here me crying out and climbing out of bed in the middle of the night to reassure me things were O.K.

Kieran was not the most popular kid but he always ha a set of dedicate friends. I always felt bad that he wasn't athletic. I thought if he was it would have made it easier for him to fit in with the other boys. I remember trying to tutor him in music. I turned on WPLJ and had him listen to the Stones, Meatloaf, Elton John, Rush, The Doors, an all of those one hit 80's bands. I'd have him try to name the song and the ban. I thought I'd help him be more "cool." I over looked the fact that he knew music and good music, it just wasn't what we kids were listening to. He knew Benny Goodman, John Coltrane and all the Jazz greats. I wonder now who of us was really cutting edge hip? And for those of you who remember Kieran from way back will recall he started wearing all black and he had a sort of combined "Goth" and Highlander like the TV show before these looks became popular.

Kieran consistently has trouble picking the right girlfriends. He tends to be attracted to women who are in need an in trouble. I must say before going on that I've always rooted for Kieran and Kerry and wished they would work things out. They "get" each other's quirkiness and embrace and celebrate it. I don't think that they'd agree with this statement but I once saw them standing outside Tavern on the Green doing the "cat litter dance." Anyway, back to his choice in women. He fins these women who need help. It's great he wants to assist them but he forgets he really can't save them or rescue them.

Finally, he's extremely talented and funny- ironic, sardonic and self effacing. It's no wonder why Charles Shultz's Peanuts is his favorite comic. He is Charlie Brown but with lots and lots of hair.

Kieran says...
Mother of 4 and one of the best dentists on the east coast maybe even the entire country! Dental accolades up the kazoo! This would be GREAT if she was still a dentist, but alas she is not. Now she's an aspiring poet... I mean a story writer, a master crafts maker, a song writer, it changes from month to month. You DON'T want to piss her off and it's very hard not to!

Kieran's Brother Mark

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Kieran's Brother Mark says...
In moments of weakness I toy with the idea that my brother and I are not dissimilar. But usually I acknowledge the truth. I am as different from Kieran as is the rest of the world. Most of us appear real on the surface but, we are actually cartoons on the inside. Kieran is the opposite. He appears like a cartoon on the outside but, he is astonishingly real at the core.

You may have to ask Kieran if his condition is a blessing or a curse. I imagine he also does well with people who can't see beneath the surface. I imagine he also does well with people who appreciate his deeper substance. But, it must be difficult for Kieran when people who want to view him superficially begin to suspect- sometimes with horror- the incisive mind and unerring grasp of truth that lurks beneath his engaging exterior.

If you love the truth and are brave enough to listen carefully to the things Kieran says, you will love Kieran. If you are lucky enough to be exposed to Kieran for the necessary length of time, you will learn things about yourself that less fortunate people would rather die not knowing.

Kieran says...
Too much! Too much intellect, too much feelings, too much booze, too much women, too much marriages, too much booze, too much cigs, too much compassion, too much pain, too much intuition, too much booze, too much affection for me, and too much mustache. The only thing he doesn't have too much of are recording contracts...but he should! Did I mention too much mustache?? C'mon dude�shave! Don't be afraid of the razor.

Kieran's Friend Cheryl

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Kieran's Friend Cheryl says...
So what's up with that guy Kieran?

Oh him, he's my friend, my oldest friend actually. We met in High School.

Why does he dress all in black?
Cause he likes black clothes. But unfortunately people assume he is trying to make some sort of statement, or that it means something. Nobody meets him and assumes it's just a clothing preference. But I knew him when he wore BLUE jeans.

In fact, I used to have a cat named BLUE JEAN, but I digress. Kieran's cool. People get all weirder out by him though. That really ticks me off, because he's just such a good guy. It's actually funny that some people fear him. Like, if you were stranded on the side of the road, you'd probably never let him help you out. But he'd not only give you a ride, he'd probably buy you a cheeseburger and give you a place to stay! He's truly a nice, safe, guy. But that doesn't mean he's never gotten his dander up. He can really cause a ruckus if he feels someone's been wronged in someway.

Anyway, back to how we met, my friend Kara wanted to go to the Prom at her old school. She had a date, but her date would only go if she could get his friend a date. So Kara showed me her old yearbook and I saw Kieran's picture. I figured he was cute enough, so what the heck.

So you met him for the first time when he picked you up for the prom?
No, we arranged to meet each other in Morristown for a movie. We met and we hit it off. We've been friends ever since.
In fact, I remember this one time; I was stalked by one of his girlfriends at a bowling alley. But that's his story to tell, not mine.

Girls and guys have come and gone, but Kieran and I have always managed to stay friends. The only time we ever have disagreed was when it came to him, giving too much of himself, to some girl who didn't deserve his love, or his friendship.

I have to give these women some credit though. I can't be too easy to be Kieran's girlfriend. First of all, Kieran will almost always say what he feels a girl wants to hear. When comes to our looks that is great. But in almost every other circumstance what we want is the truth.

Another reason is that Kieran will do anything for anybody. This might mean you expect him to meet him on the 5th. Inevitably, some needy friend, acquaintance or work obligation of his will distract him away. He will call to reschedule. (A few times.) You will end up meeting on the 30th. I am quite sure that the average girl in a romantic relationship with him would not put up with this. In fact, she would probably think he was cheating. The truth is that he doesn't have a cheating bone in his body. But it would take quite the confident woman to believe this.

If you guys are such good friends how come you don't hang out with him more?
Kieran is just about the busiest person I know. Since I have a life too, our schedules don't always jive. But whenever we meet for coffee, it's just like we picked up from our conversation yesterday. That's how you can mark a friendship. Days, weeks, months can go by; but you can pick up without missing a beat!

Kieran says...
OK, if Anton is normal than Cheryl is Hyper Normal. She's my oldest friend. Cheryl is well adjusted, has a good job as a CPA, lives in a nice house and is married to a wonderful man. She's well traveled and even a karate expert! A matter a fact she's so healthy, grounded, and mentally sound that I wonder what the heck she's doing in MY life?? It's almost like the train let her off at the wrong station. What is she doing here!!?? She's SO normal that she unnerves me a bit . . . I need a little weirdness around me . . . I gravitate towards it . . . like a plant turning to the light.

Kieran's Friend Chris

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Kieran's Friend Chris says...
We haven't heard from Chris yet but I can guarantee we'll find out what he has to say soon enough.

Kieran says...
Chris is one of the few men I've sustained a friendship with over the years. I met him in high school and to this day he remains well intentioned, hard working and far away. Even though Chris and I have grown apart in many ways I find it increasingly difficult to understand him. I think he started losing his mind a little in college when he began having ideas about saving the world from pollution and corruption and a chaotic political infrastructure and a million other mind numbing things. Now at a time in my life when I'm concerned with money and dating and surviving he often wants to discuss the most ethical way to import bananas into the country to save starving villagers in Uruguay, or the importance of abolishing roads... not road tax, mind you, ROADS, or the significance of working at grocery store coops in preparation for organizing a grass roots movement that would revolutionize the political architecture of our nation or... does your head hurt yet!? Mine does! He's a really a good man and has been there for me more times then I can count. In spit of all our difference we are always able to bond over some common weirdness like our love of animals or Doctor Who or , or, um... OK, that might be all our friendship is about anymore.

Kieran's Friend Sandman

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Kieran's Friend Sandman says...
The Sandman couldn't bring himself to write anything about me for the show. I think he was afraid it had to be mean or sarcastic like the things I write! I was abandoned! Anyway, what I have here is the next best thing! At some point I had to write a brief bio of myself and I wasn't even sure who the heck I was so I asked him for some assistance. This is what he cooked up about me to write about myself. What it does best, though, is sort of reveal his true opinion of who I am. How's that for tricky!
First, essential data�I'm 34 years old, born on Ground Hog Day, five foot eight to five foot nine tall, skinny as a rail weighing 115 lbs (dressed, no boots or shoes - on the scale, that is), dark brown hair in a waist length pony tale. Some say I look like an anorectic Howard Stern - a characterization I take exception to, although, as with Howard Stern, I too really, really do like women�boy do I like women! Obsessed is more like it. But all my women including and especially my sister are head jobs - I guess misery likes company. But what the hell, everybody has problems�I just have a ton more! I always dress in black. I would choose a darker color were it available, but can't fine anything darker than pitch black... oh yes, I always wear sun glasses. I dead broke. My diet consists soles of french fries, pizza, White Castle hamburgers, Coke-Cola, and lots of ketchup - and never, never any vegetables�.my own personal food pyramid supported by friends and anybody I can mooch off of.

People (friends?) say I have so much baggage I need a U-Haul. They are probably right. What the hell they are right! For example, at my ripe old age of 34, I still live at home with a dysfunctional family (present company included), a fifty year old brother aspiring to stardom as a songwriter, singer and guitarist and does duets (in public with me playing the kazoo!), an acute asthmatic 67 year old mother with six cats, a father who rarely emerged from behind the NY Times my memory of which will always be a bespectacled father staring at me over the top of his newspaper. My sister while not with us in body is always there in spirit. Oh boy, and what a spirit it is. Exceeded perhaps only by my brother-in-law, the dentist extraordinaire who aside from his many other talents... censored... proficiently, be it... censored.... or... censored... not. Add to that menagerie and you have a group that makes the Osbournes the equivalent of the Brady Bunch compared to my clan. I dare not elaborate more.

Professionally, if I may be so bold, I am the quintessential starving artist graduated from the School of Visual Arts in NYC. My work was praised by my professors, appeared in newspaper articles, featured in published books (and bathroom walls), additionally shared a newspaper strip with my very good friend and fellow starving artist Matthew (or as we've come to know and love him�Mad Matt.) It doesn't matter... I'm still starving but Mad Matt is a normal, healthy, good looking guy... what I want to know how did that happen?

My second family, Mad Matt's clan, wrote a little poem about me which sort of sums it all up and here it is:

Roast of MR. K

November 7, 2003

This day
Poor Mr. K has to pay

Past, present, up ‘til now
He has been known as Shallow Hal
Chasing and turning off women
He is much hated and unforgiven

He is nice to women more or less
As long as they have ample breasts
He wouldn’t date some ugly hag
But he’d draw them in a nasty gag

Not a chance to succeed
Mr. K in need
After women for hours
And in need of a cold shower

Show him a babe and his mind is gone
Especially if a green-eyed blonde

With Mr. K berated
“This poor poem be too complicated”
Were not to follow his further folly
All of us would be less jolly

For Mr. K himself a Jew
And quintessential anti-Jew
Chases the rabbi with his kazoo
As if a monkey in a zoo

We wrote this in 2003
But now see
It’s as stupid as can be
For he’s a fine fellow
And so very mellow

But this day
Poor Mr. K has to pay
As we host
This Roast

Kieran says...
Some people collect stamps or baseball cards...THIS dude collects motorcycles and cars! Not a bad life! The Sandman is LOADED! He's definitely earned what he has, though, and even though he modestly attributes his successes to "lady luck" his patron saint, it has come to him through hard work and perseverance. He's been a CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) , a security analysis, an economist, a research director, A published author and, to me, an artist representative and literary agent. And he's been a good friend.

Mr. D can also be a pain in the ass. If you don't talk to him for 4 or 5 days he starts acting like a worried girlfriend. He thinks I'm ignoring him, or abandoning him or that I don't care like I used to! Dude... I'm just disorganized! I'm terrible calling back anyone! Read the bit about Jane! He refers to me, all the time, as Shallow Hal (after the character "Hal Larson" in that a dumb movie) because I like attractive women. If I see a hot blonde I'll typically say something like, "WOW!" and he'll typically say something like "There goes Shallow Hall" again. What the am I supposed to be attracted to... ugly women?? I think it's shallow to ignore outer beauty and focus only on inner turmoil! Most woman spend more time and money on their looks then there psychological stability and spiritual wellness (sorry Aviva). I say be a gentleman and focus your attention where they concentrate most of their efforts.

I know Peter won't like some of this or a few things in my BIO but I think our friendship can withstand my take on a few sensitive issues. Believe me, this guy can roll with the punches.

Hey, at the end of the day Peter's not such a bad guy and as long as I don't bring any of my "shallow Hal" type "sluts" around his compound he promises I'll always have a roof, there, over my head.

Peter refused to write anything about me except for a biography of myself so here it is

Kieran's Friend Kerry

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Kieran's Friend Kerry says...
How do you describe someone so close to you? Here I stare at a blank screen. Hmmmmm Who is Kieran or Kier as I call him. Kier is a person that lives in his own cartoon world. In many ways that is what draws people to him. He is a great imposter. He demands to be the center of attention. It's like the world is his stage. He comes off to people as this happy, zany guy. In actuality he's more like a tortured soul. His creativity seems to be boundless, but torturous. He strives for perfection in everything he does. He often takes on impossible tasks, but finds a way too flawlessly execute them. The process makes him crazy.

I met Kieran about ten years ago. Wow that's long! Six of those years we were a couple. So you could say that I know him better than anyone else. In those six years, we went through hell and back again. We had a fiery relationship. Both of us were always struggling to gain control of the other. This resulted of course in many vicious battles. I have never known a better debater or verbal attacker than Kieran. His wit is sharp and sarcastic. But, his lies have a category all their own. He is a great pretender and can conjure up a whole alternate reality to free himself from any situation. But, his downfall is that he never remembers all the details.

He holds those close to him to ridiculously high standards. If you don't live up to them, he'll turn on you like a pit viper. This is only one of the reasons we are not together today. I think that some of our battles have a history all their own. Even today, no one can push my buttons like Kieran.

Kieran does have a softer side. He has a great love of music, art, but, most of all animals. He houses many stray cats and whatever the cats drags in, literally. He has kept just about everything, ranging from a shrew to a turkey. He will do anything to help an animal in need. Now and again this spills over to people too. He has house many people in need including myself during the time I have known him. He will help you out, but he will complain the whole time he is doing so. There's always a catch. The job will get done. But, the grumbling makes it almost not worth the hassle.

This is just a glimpse into my thoughts on Kieran. I'm sure all of you out there will enjoy getting to know him. He'll make you laugh. He'll tick you off or just flat out infuriate you. I can promise you that he will evoke some sort of reaction in you. Let's just watch and see.

Kieran says...
KERRY: A sprinkling of schizophrenia, a bit of bi-polar angst, a proclivity for being opinionated (very) and a disturbing adoration of arachnids and you have Kerry! One of the few women I've met who was actually weird enough to try dating me. We both love turtles, art, horror movies, dark poetry ... just not each other. I discovered that can get in the way of a relationship. These days we spend most of our time arguing ... We argue about my opinion of her friends, about my opinion of MY friends, about the weather, politics, what I had for breakfast ... anything that's handy, really. I'll bet we even argue about this description! (I'll have to let HER win the argument because she has a big apartment and I might need a place to stay after this gig)

Kieran's Friend Anton

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Kieran's Friend Anton says...
Kieran is a wacky guy, some how we became close friends, I guess because we worked together at the pet store for so long, and became such a great team getting everything done. Kieran and I have had many memorable moments together; he was the one hanging out with me when the love of my life moved to Florida. He was the one driving to Coconuts to buy CD's after work on pay day. He was the one I dragged out of bed at 6 A.M. for work after sleeping on his the morning before when we were out till 4 A.M.. But that was good for him it got him ready for all niters at collage. We have spent many a night at some New Jersey Diner drinking coffee, and figuring out life, people, women, etc. For me Kieran is like that old High School friend that you never really got tired of or grew apart from. We sometimes don't talk for long spans, but then we talk as if we had just spoken last week. I feel fortunate to have him as a friend. Hell we survived a 10,000 mile trip across the United States and back in a Mazda Miata: I'd say were good friends. His parents are great and he's brilliant, but like many brilliant people they lack a lot of social skills, I help him where I can.

Kieran says...
I have 1 male friend and Anton's it. He's sort of my 'foot' in normality. Otherwise I'd just be surrounded by crazy people!! Anton is an auto mechanic by trade ... and a computer programmer ... and a carpenter and a photographer and a counselor and a dance instructor and a pet specialist and an architect and a cross country runner, and a cook and a body guard and a tailor and a furniture mover and ... well you get the idea. Knowing him is like knowing a whole bunch of people so even with just 1 guy friend I'm always part of a large group. Of course, If I piss him off then I've just alienated about 20 different people!

Kieran's Co-Worker Darin

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Kieran's Co-Worker Darin says...
When I first met Kieran, I never thought that I would be locking him up for 6 months while the world made all of his decisions. I think being "Our Prisoner" will make all of his dreams come true... but I don't know if that will make Kieran happy. Kieran likes to talk about himself to anyone who will listen, and that's what happened to me. He would tell me the stories about his life and the people in it, and to tell you the truth, it just sucks you in. In a way, it is a lot like watching a horror movie... as he talks, you sit there and say "You didn't...", "Why did you do that?" or "I can't believe you said that!". That's the first phase. Phase two is when you start giving him advice about things you don't really care about. You get sucked in and I think that is what Kieran wants... that's his thing. He would sit in the diner and say he never made any right decisions and would pull me into a conversation about a waitress he was in love with, but would not talk to. It was always a new story of how pathetic he was and I would always say "This is your thing - to be the lonely and pathetic outcast". He is addicted to his pain and loves using it for attention. I found myself giving him advice and listening to stories that made me cringe, but I was hooked... it was like being part of an interactive soap opera.
I think Kieran will make it the 6 months, in fact, I think he will never leave. He will enjoy having the world make all his decisions so much that he will volunteer for a life sentence.

Kieran says...
A royal pain in the ass and an evil genius! He's the sicko that that came up with this whole "prisoner" concept in the first place. Sits in the dark all day, makes up funny names for everyone, devises various ways to screw with peoples lives, yells at subordinates on the phone, plays with yo-yos and drives a big yellow hummer... He's INSANE! He's also VERY likable, and has been a roll model for me and a GREAT friend. It's been a pure honor and privilege knowing him (did I also mention he's my boss!?)

Kieran's Co-Worker Adam

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Kieran's Co-Worker Adam says...
Kieran is the man with no plan and if he had one I am sure he could not follow it through. He is overwhelmed by the simplest of things, yet his unmatchable wit really thrives on this flaw... so is it actually a flaw? I have not yet met a soul who is not entertained by Kieran's madness. He is one of the few people who understands the importance of good gummy bears and knows where they can be found. He is always one to share a piece of a burger or cookie, but put some soup or as Kieran calls it "residue" food in front of him and he may run from the table in distress. Oh and when I eat at Kieran's OurPrisoner Cafe, watch Kieran's reaction as I dip my chicken fingers in blue cheese and hot sauce... its priceless.

Kieran says...
Adam's an old guy... well he's young, in his 20s I think. But he's an old guy... he's like a youthful elderly person. Like a geriatric kid. Not sure what else I can say. Not sure I can really explain it better than that. He drives a red Herse and where's old guy shirts and old guy sneakers. Sometimes acts like he's awake but you have to get him on a good day. He also seems to have a way with women, he's a good negotiator, and likes high tech gadgets... he's like a cross between James bond and a sloth. He just recently bought me 2 packages of Gummy Bears so as far as I'm concerned he's A-OK in my book.

Kieran's Co-Worker Zack

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Kieran's Co-Worker Zack says...
You know how you hear so much about someone before you meet them and feel like you already know them? Well days before meeting Kieran, I read his 120-page bio, which trust me, was longer than anything I read in college. Funny thing was, I felt like I knew more about him than I did friends I'd been hanging out with for years. Only to finally meet him and discover his bio didn't do him justice.

Kieran portrays himself as this near miss/ no hope/ underdog. But I found him to be bright, funny, honest and extremely personable. Ironically, we ended up living in the same house for a few weeks and rather than having to deal with a guy with quirky habits and pain in the ass rules, there was never a dull moment. Not to mention, I never lived in a place that was kept so clean. My hope is that the world gets to know him as well as I did. If everyone was as honest and witty as him, we'd never stop laughing

Kieran says...
Zack is the kind of guy you instantly like. That's saying a lot for me because normally I don't like men at all! Zack seems genuine to me and unpretentious. Since he's joined our company just a few months ago he has already proved himself a loyal friend and man of honor. He also is acquainted with some gorgeous women. A matter of fact the woman he knows are so sizzlingly hot and luscious that even if I DID have something negative about him to say I'd keep my big mouth shut. Zack has also expanded my vocabulary because, lets face it, half the time I sound like an old codger from like 1940 or something. He's taught me words like... you know, a lot of them are not fit for general consumption. We'll leave this stuff for "Our Prisoner" late night .

Kieran's Co-Worker Jeff

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Kieran's Co-Worker Jeff says...
Kieran is someone with extensive knowledge of everything and anything. I consider Kieran to be one of my close long lost friends. We share a bond that sometimes I feel as though we share the same cosmic wave of energy that allows us to think as one.

We share some of the same OSD's, and knowledge of discontinued cereals (SMORZ, NERDS, SMURFS, Etc)
He has one of those personalities�s that can lead you around like some sick and twisted safari. I really do think this show, is just what he needs, and hopefully he comes out a healed man!

Kieran says...
Jeff isn't one of those types of guys you have to size up at first to figure out of you like him or not. The very first day I met him I instantly knew he was part of my tribe. He was instantly my friend! I sometimes think the two of us share the same brain which only leaves a half a brain for each of us but, apparently, that's enough to get by. Our beloved CEO even calls him "Kieran #2" occasionally because we are so similar in our life philosophies and eccentricities. That's just a nice way of saying we are both mega geeks! Jeff is way too into Star Wars, toy collecting, cartoons and superheroes. The first time Jeff and I really had a chance to talk I played for him a tune from the Moonlighters and unlike YOU who is now reading this, he knew who the heck they were . . .and liked them! I was amazed! I then discovered he too had a penchant for reciting not only lines of dialog from Star Wars but imitating the sound effects and, best of all, Chewbacca. He's the undisputed champion at that! At first we used to drive Chris nutty by "geeking out" as Darin puts it with our Chewbacca meets Yoda conversations. Sure enough, though, after a month or two Chris was joining in with a pretty good Wookie growl of his own! See, our geekieness is contagious! And one last thing, not only does Jeff have a profound appreciation of all things SCI-FI and fantasy and vintage cereal (bring back SMORZ!) but he also understands my problems. When him and I first reviewed my "Hang-ups" list they didn't seem to him like a collection of bizarre phobias or freakish social disorders. Instead they seemed like completely reasonable concerns and he identified with almost every single one. I'm sure to him, "Our Prisoner" is just a show about locking up someone as normal as himself for 6 months and trying to make him weird. Kind of makes you think doesn't it? Watch out Jeff, they might be coming for YOU next.

Kieran's Co-Worker Chris

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Kieran's Co-Worker Chris says...
Kieran (m), (kee'-ron) : One that is peculiar, irregular, abnormal, or difficult to classify. A mathimaticaly unsolvable recursive geometric object which is rough or irregular on all scales of length, and so which appears to be 'broken up' in a radical way.An object that can be divided into parts, each of which is similar to the original object. This object is said to possess infinite detail, and actually has a self-similar structure that occurs at different levels of magnification.

Kieran says...
Not to be confused with the other Chris... or with anyone else for that matter! I don't have the room here to artfully describe what a unique, hilarious, brilliant and sometimes creepy individual Chris is. He never stops joking. Every other word out of his mouth is a wisecrack of some kind and I think that's a wonderful quality for anyone to have. After talking to him for a few minutes you also start to get the feeling that life is some sort of really long exam and he's the only one in the class who's studied. I mean you can attempt to chat with him about the seemingly most innocuous things like a magnet or a fork or a pair of scissors and you'll learn something you never knew before! The guy just oozes knowledge. He gets excited and runs for new computers and gadgets like my mothers cats do when you open a can of food. If we ever want to get him to the office fast we just tell him a new camera or gizmo just came in. My only criticism of him, so far, or concern, is that he sometimes freaks me out when he goes into "Clint" mode. Sometimes when you ask him a question or say something to him which I guess he assumes is profoundly sophomoric he just stares at you. I mean, he screws up his face and just stares and stares and stares until you walk away or feel like you should apologize for even existing near him. The expression on his face makes him look just like a young Clint Eastwood! You even start to think you might be "making his day" if you don't shut up. This is just my paranoia though, I really don't think he'd harm a fly...unless it got near one of his computers! Oh, and he might also be a little too tightly wrapped around his idea of what an acceptable pancakes is, but then again, look who's talking.

Kieran's Co-Worker Ashley

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Kieran's Co-Worker Ashley says...
The first time I met Kieran Vogel, he seemed like the kind of guy who could make everybody laugh. He has a confident smile but a very shy personality. As I talked to him more often, I realized that Kieran wasn't confident at all. Kieran was afraid of everything. He would only eat certain foods in a certain texture, refused any kind of alcohol, and basically lived off of burgers and ice cream. As strange as it seemed, it was true. I also learned that Kieran was afraid of germs, crowds, hygiene, even simple conversations. Kieran obviously has severe social insecurities. He was constantly worried about what people thought of what he looked like or what he said, not realizing that everyone feels this way at one time or another.

In spite of this, I had a fondness of Kieran. You knew he was kind and funny beneath the exterior. I will admit that some of the things he has told me in the past were slightly shocking but I can't say I was ever really offended. I can remember one day having a conversation with Kieran about relationships. We got to the subject of his ex-girlfriend. He began to tell me of his likes and dislikes in women. He told me that heavy women weren't attractive enough to him because it didn't look right. At the time, it was kind of off-putting coming from Kieran. I couldn't understand how someone who obviously didn't think he fit the mold of attractive would be so stereotypical. His comment seemed rude and yet I still thought of Kieran as nice and kind.

I don't know Kieran well enough to define him but I can describe how I think Kieran is. I've always felt that he saw himself much worse than others did. It actually made me laugh when he would give me compliments. Kieran made me seem like the kind of girl who got compliments everyday. He said I was smart and beautiful quite often. Sometime I thought he was trying to make me out to be perfect. I hope he will soon realize that I'm not perfect nor is anyone.

I sometimes wish that I could emotionally makeover Kieran. I would want to teach him that lovers come and go and that their departure is not a reflection of his self worth, that friends are still friends even if they don't spend time together often, and that no one is judging Kieran, but Kieran.

I feel his life would greatly benefit if he saw himself and the world differently and wasn't so afraid. I hope that this experience as The Prisoner will help Kieran with his problems and insecurities. Hopefully in the end, we will be able to make Kieran, as Darin always put it, "Come out of his shell."

Kieran says...
I don't know a damn thing about Ashley. I don't know here favorite movie, her favorite color, what she likes to eat, NOHING! I DO know she's hot! And she doesn't always button her shirts right, which is ALSO hot! She's hard to talk to, I don't think her and I have much chemistry. When I want to find anything out about her I ask Darin or Adam... they seem to have built some type of rapport with her. How do you build a rapport, anyway? God, I wish I knew!

Kieran's Ex-Friend Andrea

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Kieran's Ex-Friend Andrea says...
I'm all for forgive and forget but I guess Andrea sees things differently. Mean or nice, confrontational or contrite I'd sure love it if we heard from her and had something to post here in her own words.

Kieran says...
There was a time when I considered Andrea one of my closest friends. As I have outlined in my bio she was extremely intelligent and had an irreverent humor for all things she considered stupidly conventional or commonplace. She was also a fine writer. One day, however, and I'll probably NEVER get the full true story this person I had been so close to for so many years decided I was no longer worthy of her time or company. She cut me completely out of her life without even so much as a goodbye. I had seen her through some pretty tough times and she had been there for me o talk to as well. Apparently, in the end, it meant nothing to her. Unless things change in the future I'm forced, especially now, as I'm typing this, to conclude that she is a vicious, lying, manipulative, and misguided individual. She disrespected me and our friendship. If I had wronged her I should have been given the chance to make amends and if I hadn't I'd like to know who set me up. Someone put some ideas in her head. It's just not enough for me to hear second hand that I called her husband a "nigger." A baseless accusation like that is, in some ways, is even worse than if I had actually said it, and I didn't! I wouldn't! But who knows, that's just one of the many, many, spurious reasons I've been given for the termination of our friendship. Her father the Sandman has never directly told me what he knows about the incident and at the time it happened, I think about 9 years ago now, all he would say was, "Andrea doesn't want to talk to you anymore. You apparently made some very damaging remarks to her. Someday we can talk about it but for now, just leave it be."

Kieran's Ex-Friend Chuck

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Kieran's Ex-Friend Chuck says...
I'm, at this point, insignificant to Chuck but it would still be good to have something here that expressed his point of view. I hope we hear from him. Kieran's Ex-Friend

Kieran says...
Chuck hates me because he should! Or to put it another way, Chuck is Jo's father. Need I say more? Wouldn't YOU hate me if you were her dad? Of course, I might be as insignificant to him as I am to Jo! It's possible that I'm just not important enough to the guy to elicit his hate. This web site , however, will likely take care of that! Anyway, Chuck was a good acquaintance and a wonderful musician. Sometimes at his gigs he'd be charitable enough to allow me to join his band on stage and belt out some kazoo. My memories of him are all good. I consider some of those chances I was given to jam with his group amongst the best experiences of my ridiculous life. Under advisement of the Sandman and common sense, however, I have not even attempted to talk to the man for years! I was told that Chuck wished he and his daughter had never met me, that I had never come into there lives. I mean that's practically it verbatim. It's damn disturbing and still keeps me up at night. I don't think I've ever so successfully ostracized a good person as I did Chuck. My assassination of that relationship was almost masterful.

Kieran's Ex-Friend Jo

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Kieran's Ex-Friend Jo says...
I shudder to think what Jo might have to say about all of this... it rattles me to the core. Still, fair is fair and I think she should be able to openly present her thoughts and feelings here. I hope she does.

Kieran says...
Jo hates me because she should! At the time I became involved with her I was trying to disentangle myself from a relationship with Kerry that had, for a multitude of reasons, turned bad. Very bad. When I first started seeing Jo I thought everything between Kerry and I had successfully transitioned from a romantic relationship to one that was just a strained friendship. Kerry, apparently, didn't see it that way and it was because of my vague communications and emotional timorousness that she was mislead. There was also the ever-present Sandman. A good friend and a protector and also a shadowy character sending an ill wind against my sails and blowing me off course. He had me convinced that Jo was a dangerous woman to be avoided at all costs. I was to abandon Jo sort of the way Andrea cut ME off! Hmm... interesting. DAMN! What a dope I was! Anyway, I handled things badly and in the end Jo was lead to believe that I had wantonly deceived her. In actuality I doubt Jo hates me, I'm sure I'm to insignificant for that. I'm probably just a stale odor that wafts through the corridors of her mind now and a very long while.

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